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I like to spend money on guns. Since thereΓÇÖs no point in hanging out on ArmsAmerica anymore, that means I spend a lot of time on Gunbroker.com. ThereΓÇÖs some great stuff there, and sometimes it even coincides with me having money.

The downside is that some sellers are…stupid.

Not just stupid, but world class morons.

The stupider they are, the ruder they get.

Here are some examples:

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ΓÇ£We donΓÇÖt play the C & R game.ΓÇ¥

That’s unfortunate. My C & R license was issued and is recognized by the ATF, and we don’t regard it as a “game.” Any firearm over 50 years old automatically qualifies. Modern ones can be hit or miss, so if this was modern I could see the caution, but, since you describe this as…here we go: “1928 Colt Special Police,” I’m pretty sure we can figure it’s over 50 years old. Like many “Crufflers,” I have crap tons of disposable income to throw at my hobby. Dissing me just means you’ll never see any of it, because I don’t play the conceited cockbag dealer game.

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ΓÇ£According to ATF, this has to go through a dealer not c&r.ΓÇ¥

HereΓÇÖs the relevant text from the ATFΓÇÖs website. ItΓÇÖs over 50 years old, so requires no listing because anything over 50 years old is C&R. Signed: ATF.

ΓÇ£I talked to some guy at the gun show and he said no.ΓÇ¥

Well, if youΓÇÖre the kind of person who takes legal advice from ΓÇ£Some guy at a gun show,ΓÇ¥ we have nothing to discuss.

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ΓÇ£FFL required.ΓÇ¥

You describe this as 1896 mfr. That means itΓÇÖs outside the definition of a firearm and canΓÇÖt go through an FFL, anymore than a barbecue grill or a saddle. This makes it very complicated, because youΓÇÖre asking me to pay a dealer money to conduct a transaction he canΓÇÖt legally conduct.

ΓÇ£Anything that fires a cased bullet has to go through an FFL by law.ΓÇ¥

Nope. Nothing originally manufactured before 1899 is a firearm, by US law, and most state laws, too, and most foreign Western national laws.

ΓÇ£ItΓÇÖs policy. Everything goes through FFL. No C&R.ΓÇ¥

Understood. ItΓÇÖs my policy not to deal with idiots, especially if they want me to pay money to engage in an unnecessary and potentially illegal transaction. Please take the gun and insert it somewhere painful.

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ΓÇ£This is an 1895 Chilean that I shortened the stock on and scoped.ΓÇ¥

Why did you do a stupid thing like that? However, IΓÇÖm still interested if the price remains fair.

ΓÇ£Yeah, I know it was an antique, but I modified it, so that makes it a C&R.ΓÇ¥

Um, no. An antique never becomes a firearm unless you turn it into an NFA weapon. Even if it did, ATF gets to make that determination, not some guy with a hacksaw. Perhaps you shouldnΓÇÖt sell firearms, because IΓÇÖm certainly not going to buy one from you.

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ΓÇ£I donΓÇÖt know what this is. It says either 1888 or 1893 under the barrel. I canΓÇÖt really read it.ΓÇ¥

ItΓÇÖs an 1893 Turk. You know, if youΓÇÖre not sure what it is, maybe you should find out before you decide to sell it. However, your price is fair. Box it up and ship it.

ΓÇ£No FFL no rifle.ΓÇ¥

WeΓÇÖve been through this before. THATΓÇÖS NOT A @#$ING RIFLE, ITΓÇÖS A @#$ING ANTIQUE. Sigh. Okay, let me call a friend, make sure we all agree this is an 1893 Turk, you send it to him, IΓÇÖll drive halfway across town, and heΓÇÖll just hand it to me sans paperwork, BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A @#$ING FIREARM.

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ΓÇ£This is a 1923 Smith .32 snub. Surface corrosion, bore dark, lockup loose, hand doesnΓÇÖt engage on two chambers, noticeable barrel gap, cracked grips. Great project gun. I donΓÇÖt ship overseas or to APOs, FPOs, NJ, IL, CA, NY, MD, CT, DE. I only accept US postal money orders. Do not write anything other than the transaction number in the box. If you mention firearm or rifle or gunbroker or anything else, IΓÇÖll return the MO and give you non-paying feedback. I only transfer through my FFL who charges $30, so youΓÇÖll have to pay that, and $40 shipping, and $10 insurance, and $10 handling fee, and IΓÇÖll need a mailed paper copy of the FFL, no scans or emails. I expect to receive all this within 15 days. I ship every Monday so if your payment arrives Tuesday it will take another week before I ship.ΓÇ¥

This means with all your fees and my FFLΓÇÖs fee IΓÇÖll be paying $110 plus whatever the MO costs, have to do a lot of paperwork, and wait three weeks or more to get my gun, and youΓÇÖve ruled out half the population. This is for a gun worth possibly $75. I suppose I should be glad you didnΓÇÖt claim it was pristine, NRA 98%.

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ΓÇ£This is a .44 Bulldog. I think it fires .44 Russian.ΓÇ¥

Sweet JEEZUS, no! It fires a .44 Bulldog, a bit weaker than a .25 auto, at 80 foot pounds. If you fire a .44 Russian in that, at 310 foot pounds, youΓÇÖll have a grenade. Ah, I see you didnΓÇÖt post my correction on caliber, because advertising it as weak would reduce the sales odds. So, youΓÇÖre okay with your customers getting blown up, eh?

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ΓÇ£Opening bid 98 cents. Reserve price, $1600.ΓÇ¥

You know, the whole point of a reserve price is lost if you tell me what it is. Why not just post $1600 as your starting bid, instead of wasting my time? I mean, youΓÇÖve allowed me to bid $5, $200, $1000, none of which will buy the gun, AND, youΓÇÖve told me so in advance. They also charged you for the privilege. What was the point of this? See the ΓÇ£Starting bidΓÇ¥ block? Just set that to ΓÇ£$1600.00.ΓÇ¥ There. WasnΓÇÖt that easy?

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ΓÇ£This is a barrel band for an M1 Carbine, and IΓÇÖm desperate to sell, so $3.ΓÇ¥

Great. Thanks. Most of us like to get $25 out of ours. So you screwed yourself out of money, and us. Much appreciate it.


You know what Gunbroker really needs? A button you can push. Votes are tallied. Enough votes results in someone driving to your house and inserting the full length of a Garand barrel into your nether regions.

I volunteer.