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There are a number of people still insisting “COVID is the greatest danger we face.”  Despite statistics showing that cancer, heart disease, malaria, car accidents, suicide, hunger, and about 23,654 other things have higher mortality rates.

But I want to take them at their word, and do the right thing.

All COVID cultists must wear a yellow C on their clothing so they can be easily recognized, and everyone else can give them lots of social distance.

They can have 24 hours to prepare for lockdown. They can use the self-checkouts at the store, so as not to selfishly risk asymptomatic spread to anyone else.

They will enter lockdown, to avoid COVID. They go into their houses/apartments, they lock the doors, and they remain there until such time as COVID is no longer a danger.

Drones and emplaced cameras will monitor their residences. If they leave, the police will shoot them as a direct threat to others, since by their own terms they will be spreading a deadly disease.

They will be prohibited from having food and goods delivered.  That would require other people to move in close contact, thus risking COVID. It would be selfish and hypocritical for them to ask others to gravely risk their lives to shop for them.  No grocery shoppers, no Amazon deliveries.

If and when they feel COVID is no longer a threat, they can call the hotline, and an officer in a containment suit will come to their door with a waiver.  The waiver will state that the signer agrees that COVID is no longer a threat so deadly that human association is a concern, and that they will no longer complain, harass, or whine about people gathering in groups for any reason.  They can then remove the yellow C and join the rest of society.

A violation of this contract will result in an immediate 90 day lockdown in a government containment facility, with no contact with the outside world.  To avoid COVID, no human being will be allowed to interact in any fashion, nor to provide deliveries.

We’ll have this COVID problem beaten in seven weeks.

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