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Jesus Titty-fucking CHRIST, this column was supposed to be weekly.  I could do a dozen a day if I had the time.

And yeah, I've been busy. Catching up:

So let us look at the following:

https://reason.com/2019/07/03/indiana-is-still-arguing-that-its-constitutional-to-seize-your-car-for-driving-5-mph-over-the-speed-limit/

Suppose you were Indiana Solicitor General Thomas Fisher, and suppose you'd made history by getting SCOTUS to LITERALLY FUCKING LAUGH AT YOU for standing by your position that the 8th Amendment magically doesn't apply to the states, and that it's hypothetically perfectly reasonable to seize a half million dollar car for a 5 MPH over speeding violation.

Now, in such case, you'd probably come back and say, "Well, guys, that's it. We tried."

But no! This complete cockgobbler doubles down and says, "That was only regarding CIVIL forfeiture! So as long as we can prove a tenuous connection between the property and the owner and some utterly unrelated crime, it's still valid!"

This is literally precedent for the state to impose a death penalty and seizure of your entire estate for speeding. And yes, I know a bunch of liberal retards just read that and claimed I'm an hysterical right-winger (for wanting a smaller government? That's the exact opposite of how a "right wing" works, shit for brains), except I keep making these predictions, and we keep following the curve. But they love sucking government cock so much they just can't quit it.

Digressing. It wasn't even the state that seized this vehicle. It was a third party who then seized the vehicle and transferred it to the state, who presumably sold it, since the plaintiff wants it back and they're fighting this hard to avoid doing so.

Institute for Justice lawyer Sam Gedge says in a statement to Reason that Indiana "has resorted to an increasingly dangerous view of governmental power" over the years it has been fighting to keep Timbs' car.

"In the State's view, it can constitutionally forfeit a Bugatti that goes five miles over the speed limit. And the State insists that it can take any property from any person who has ever struggled with drug addiction," Gedge says. "That boundless view of governmental power cannot be squared with the Constitution."

Yeah, no shit.

On the positive side, since SCOTUS laughed in his face once, they will hopefully do so again, and this asset forfeiture faggotry, which is government-sanctioned highway robbery, will come to an end. That means pig departments nationwide will have to do actual law enforcement, not theft by false warrant, and will weep and wail. We'll cover them in a future column.

In the meantime, Indiana Solicitor General Thomas Fisher, YOU are the Asshole of the Week.

~~~

From comments:

cspschofield wrote:

I realize I'm being a pedantic pain, but I object to your use of the word '____'.I don't know this nitwit's sexual preference (nor do I want to) but IF he's gay, it has nothing to do with what he's an objectionable waste of air.

Nor is he, of course, a bundle of sticks used for fuel.

Pity.

I do, however, have some suggestions of alternative terms;

Parasite.
Vermin
Statist Flunky
Criminal Officeholder
Fascist (and we're back to the bundle of sticks)
Oxygen Thief
Guillotine Bait
~~~

I may change the term just to get around Fecesbook blocks.

I use it in its presexual connotation of someone at the very bottom of consideration, usually forced into menial labor. I had a post on this a while back.

But it's probably easiest to adjust it to something else due to both concerned readers (you) and screeching assholes (most).

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"ΓÇ£Democrat Rep. Frederica Wilson (FL) says that people who are ΓÇ£making fun of members of CongressΓÇ¥ online ΓÇ£should be prosecutedΓÇ¥ "

Dear Frederica "Saloon Hooker" Wilson:

Go fuck yourself, you festering cuntpustule.

Per the First Amendment, Common Law, and in fact, Common Sense, I have the right to mock you however I wish. If I think you have the manners of a Denebian Slime Devil, then that's what I'll say. If I think you're a textbook Demorrhoid--ignorant, retarded, bigoted, stupid and humorless--I'll say so. And you can do fuck-all about it.

And just remember: They're words, not dicks. Don't take them so hard.

I've shit out better candidates. Your existence in office just proves your entire constituency are retarded.

And you are their queen.

What are you going to do about it, whore?

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I had another group queued up, but let's skip ahead:
https://www.courant.com/breaking-news/hc-br-state-police-exonerated-michael-picard-videotape-arrest-20171102-story.html?fbclid=IwAR2WEEyQ-Q8GG7X-xKqDIvhsqK1K_8Oc5w5CoIJJsiod-yHzLKHrxxJ9Wyc

"Barone told the investigator that he was trained to always create some sort of documentation ΓÇö such as issuing an infraction ΓÇö any time he puts his hands on someone, and "that 'cover your ass' is merely an expression which he has created over the years," according to the investigator's report."

""The internal affairs report was completed nearly a year ago, but the state Department of Emergency Services and Public Protection, which includes the state police, would not disclose it, citing a provision in the union contract that allows troopers to object to the release of any personnel records they believe would violate their privacy,"

So, these pigs conspired to violate a man's rights. Upon finding out he was absolutely within the law, they lied and violated his rights further, then conspired with other pigs to fabricate false charges against him. They're so fucking inept they couldn't even do that right, came up with two bullshit charges that got tossed out in court.

But other pigs investigated them and determined well, hey, that's all perfectly cool, for reasons, and union.

So the state will be coughing up a huge settlement the taxpayers pay for, while the perps get pensions.

And the obvious question is, since this is OFFICIAL POLICY, how many other people have had their rights and freedom violated by this literal street gang?  Is it possible for a "good" cop to exist in either of these departments, spanning most of the entire state?

Also, you'll have a hard time finding a cop who'll denounce all this and do anything about it. Oh, a few might admit that this was wrong, but they will IMMEDIATELY add "But that's not most cops."

Yes, it fucking is.  We keep finding department after department where POLICY is to rough people up, steal property, plant evidence, and even fucking jail (NYC) and murder (Houston) people for cred.

Remember:  When a pig eats a bullet, he probably deserved it.

CT Police: You are the Cockholsters of the Week.

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I want to start this sporadic segment off right.

All Hail Trump, the NYC Demorrhoid turned Republican of Convenience.  After all, had he admitted to being a Demorrhoid, he'd have lost the election.

Instead, his narcissism impacted like the Chicxulub Meteorite and wiped out every possible actual Republican, thus freeing Hillary, the National-Socialist Witch of the Northeast By Way of the Toothless South, to focus her corruption on eliminating Bernie. 

I guess in a three-way race between Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini, Mussolini is the slightly lesser evil. But he sure as hell isn't good.

The terrifying thing is the Demorrhoids are masturbating over Russian Birth Certificates and "emoluments," which most of them can't even spell without copy/paste, when they should be objecting to massive Executive power grabs, like redefining random bits of plastic as "machine guns" and endorsing asset forfeiture without trial.  But since they're all in on that themselves, they'll give him free reign, while refusing to acknowledge he's one of theirs.

The man's doing everything the DNC claims to want, while they object to him doing it, and the Republitards endorse his "brilliance" with statements like, "No one cares about bumpstocks, you RINO."  Shitheads on both sides have forgotten that he's pro-choice, anti-gun, anti-4th Amendment, anti-just about everything else except profit, and easily distracted. All they see is his charisma, while he proceeds to lay the groundwork for a complete police state, admittedly about four years slower than Hillary. She'd have had the Death Camps™ already.  Not that I expect him to open any Death Camps.™  But he's made it trivially easy for whichever "Liberal" Demorrhoid Nazi follows him.

Meanwhile, his opponents ignore that and his supporters masturbate to it.

What does he actually stand for?  Profit, a wall, and more profit.  Which I'm perfectly cool with, as long as he takes care of other things as well.  But he won't, and none of you will do anything about it.  He doesn't give a shit about the Constitution. 

Donald J. Trump, you are the first Cockbag of the Week.

  1. Civil Servants Are Inconvenienced And People Are Weeping For Them.
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