Home

Details

Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 09 December 2017

We asked several police officers nationwide how to handle interactions with law enforcement. These were their responses:

 

The birthday party down the street is a little noisy. What should I do?

Call us and we'll shoot the dog. That will quiet the little punks down. 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/oklahoma-shoots-kills-family-dog-birthday-party-article-1.2719156

~~~

What if I have a service dog?

No problem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O9GmUcp0Mo

~~~

You shot my dog! Now what?

You need to saw its head off so we can test it for rabies. Or else you go to jail.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article188099994.html

~~~

I think my friend is suicidal.

We can fix that problem for him.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/12/05/oklahoma-city-officer-charged-in-fatal-shooting-man.html

~~~

That's really not a good fix.

Well, there are other options.  We can try to cheer him up.

http://www.kansascity.com/latest-news/article206165144.html 

~~~

I see a kid in the park with what might be a toy gun.

No problem. We've got this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Tamir_Rice

~~~

I saw a guy near the gun counter of WalMart with a gun. What should I do?

Call us and we'll shoot him on sight.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_John_Crawford_III

~~~

I possibly saw a gun through a hotel window, even though that's legal in this state.

We've got a procedure for that. Our swat team will make him do the hokey pokey then shoot him.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/mesa-police-shooting-daniel-shaver-seen-crawling-begging-in-disturbing-video/

~~~

My neighbor is deaf, is that going to be a problem?

No, the bullets will kill him just as easily.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/09/21/552527929/oklahoma-city-police-fatally-shoot-deaf-man-despite-yells-of-he-cant-hear-you

~~~

If I'm helping a disabled person and the cops arrive, what should I do?

Seriously, we have no idea either. We'll probably open fire.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/crime/article90905442.html

~~~

If a disabled, mentally ill person needs help, what should I do?

Call us, of course. That's an easy one.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/23/us/texas-amputee-shooting/index.html

~~~

Seriously?  You'd shoot me?

Well, not always.

http://www.sanluisobispo.com/news/local/investigations/article205363229.html 

~~~

I'm not the mentally ill person you're looking for.  I'm not sure why you're here.

Our expert says you're mentally ill. We don't need to see your identification. We're going to forcibly medicate you now. But you'll get a free steak dinner.

http://on.wpxi.com/2E49p2a 

~~~

We think a teenager may have taken explicit photos of himself. What should we do?

Call us and we'll send a child molester to make definitely sure there's video of him.

http://reason.com/blog/2017/12/07/4th-circuit-says-forcing-a-teenager-to-m

~~~

What if I have no legal problem and call outside for first aid?

We'll shoot at your dog, miss and hit your daughter instead.

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/780k-settlement-cop-shoots-4yo-daughter/ 

~~~

Is it proper to produce my wallet and ID when confronted by police?

It certainly helps us with paperwork.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Amadou_Diallo

~~~

You're good at identifying the right target, I hope.

Sure.  Of course, if you're a small Asian woman we might mistake you for a large black man. But don't worry, we'll have some charity replace your truck after we shoot it full of holes.  Totally not our fault.  Stress of the moment, you all look alike to us.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Dorner_shootings_and_manhunt

~~~

If I have drugs, you'll be careful about my family, I hope.

Suuuure.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/01/13/indiana-court-overturns-drug-conviction-after-swat-team-detonates-stun-grenade-near-a-baby/?utm_term=.afac63cc8d02

~~~

I make every effort to abide by the law, including asking for police inspections.  I assume I'm good.

Maybe. Got anything interesting? Or sellable?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/30/what-life-is-like-after-police-ransack-your-house-and-take-every-belonging-then-the-charges-are-dropped/?utm_term=.937a9c63f622

~~~

We don't sell drugs.  We should be fine, right?

Our paid stooge says you sell drugs. Your baby has it coming.

https://atlantadailyworld.com/2016/03/02/georgia-family-gets-3-6-million-after-cops-throw-grenade-at-baby/

~~~

Really, I don't sell drugs.

What do you mean you don't sell drugs?  Our experts know better.

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2467-6-things-i-learned-when-cops-raided-my-house-by-mistake.html

~~~

What's the procedure if you do think I have drugs?

A scientific search.

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/26/opinion/sunday/kristof-3-enemas-later-still-no-drugs.html

~~~

What should I do if you conduct a sting on my premises? Do you need help?

No, we're going to seize your property for the crime we pretended to commit.

https://ij.org/case/new-york-city-evictions/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&fbclid=IwAR3p1x3_an9zjWTUanipWX1_b2xu6b2ogNVdJhp33WoBvBk3mfDQifwAUN8

~~~

So I should follow all instructions and everything will go fine.

Yup. Perfectly fine. It makes it much easier.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/ct-officer-shot-unarmed-black-man-20170402-story.html

~~~

If you realize you have the wrong house, will I be okay?

Mmmmmaybe......not.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/georgia-police-shoot-homeowner-responding-wrong-home/story?id=39723930

~~~

If I'm 92 years old, and you have the wrong house, what happens?

Oh, we'll make it the right house. We'll fire 39 shots at you and hit you with about 6. Then we'll shoot each other.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kathryn_Johnston_shooting

~~~

What?  You don't shoot each other often, do you?

Well, accidents happen.

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2013/06/21/cadet-shot-in-head-during-police-training-exercise-honored-at-graduation/

~~~

If I wind up getting shot, you'll administer first aid, yes?

Why would we do that?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Deandre_Brunston

~~~

If I'm stopped for a traffic violation, should I tell you I'm legally carrying a weapon?

If you like.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Philando_Castile

~~~

What if I'm sitting in my car unarmed?

We'll break the window, drag you out, and put a bullet in your brain, for "officer safety." 

http://www.cleveland19.com/story/37201963/federal-court-sides-with-family-upholds-verdict-in-2012-deadly-police-shooting-of-unarmed-suspect-kenneth-smith-roger-jones 

~~~

Look, you don't just shoot everyone you encounter, do you?

Nah, we also have dogs.

http://www.twincities.com/2017/12/06/lawsuit-woman-taking-out-garbage-attacked-by-st-paul-police-dog-searching-for-male-suspect/

~~~

So it's safe for me to call for help if I see a problem, then.

Define "safe."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Justine_Damond

~~~

What if I'm minding my own business?

I'm afraid to ask, but if a child were lost, you wouldn't shoot them, would you?

The child? No.

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865673713/Judge-rules-against-man-whose-dog-was-shot-and-killed-by-police-during-search-for-toddler.html

~~~

So children are safe during procedural processes?

Um...well...

https://ilwd4cr.home.blog/2019/08/09/expired-foid-card-leads-to-child-being-accidentally-shot-by-police-during-raid/?fbclid=IwAR21fqxn4t8ptRu6KpLniHpAGsKK1ELW1LPxQ3g2IxeZ-GNEzjH1q20YyXk

~~~

So it would actually be best if I were naked, then?

Why would that matter?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Anthony_Hill

~~~

What if I meet you off duty? Say at a social function for pets?

I'll probably shoot your dog.

http://www.wmcactionnews5.com/story/37122662/off-duty-officer-shoots-dog-at-shelby-farms-park 

~~~

You have really good aim with dogs. Sheesh.

Usually, but not always.

https://reason.com/2019/07/16/court-rules-police-officer-who-shot-10-year-old-is-protected-by-qualified-immunity/?fbclid=IwAR3C_k6btxlUJujsSiv0x-IgzCMo57xXipy2uZZ3vpmrQo6CqNqPn45Z6FI

~~~

What if a small girl is chasing her puppy?

We'll teach her some manners.

http://tribunist.com/news/texas-deputy-loses-job-after-he-allegedly-beat-up-a-12-year-old-girl-in-a-crowded-restaurant-video/ 

~~~

What about other social events?

That depends on if you accept our offer of a drink.

https://www.theblaze.com/news/2013/10/15/caught-on-video-off-duty-deputy-attempts-to-arrest-soldier-at-restaurant-but-it-was-the-cop-who-went-to-jail 

~~~

What kind of training do you have for this job?

The best training in the world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzHEOSyMqug

~~~

That's rare, though, right? I shouldn't be in danger.

Probably not.  But accidents happen.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/raid-of-the-day-eurie-sta_n_3273127.html

~~~

I'd like to observe this training for myself, to see just what's involved.

You might not wanna do that.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/11/us/woman-is-accidentally-killed-by-police-officer-playing-bad-guy-at-training-academy-in-florida.html

~~~

If there's a camera rolling and you know it's being filmed, you'll use discretion, yes? You won't empty your guns at a running bad guy and hit the cameraman?

Who cares? There's nothing wrong with that.  The judge concurs.

~~~

https://apnews.com/4f818508e9a5453cb897eed34a896c6d?fbclid=IwAR1VS02SAu0mwO1MyQadwjNAMVMFXhF_Dq_rQeuX1mgNqKvRZko3doyXXpQ  

Right, but it's not policy to roll up and blow people away, is it?

Well....about that....

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/09/13/police-officer-fired-for-not-shooting-man-who-had-unloaded-gun.html

~~~

So if I see you roll up to get someone, what should I do?

Duck.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/08/25/nypd-shooting-bystander-victims-hit-by-police-gunfire.html

~~~

If I'm detained, should I come quietly?

Quiet, screaming, actually, it doesn't matter if you come, as long as we do.

https://nypost.com/2017/12/08/woman-claims-nypd-detectives-discussed-taking-turns-raping-her/

~~~

Do I have right to remain silent?

That depends. Do you like rough sex?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abner_Louima

Details

Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 09 December 2017

As usual, I shouldn't need a disclaimer, but people are stupid.

I support the cops, WHEN THEY ARE IN THE RIGHT.  This includes shootings that outrage a lot of people. Mike Brown, for example.  Good shoot. Punk had it coming.

So let's look at this one and detail why Philip Brailsford is a retard, a sociopath, and deserving of the worst fate imaginable.

Video here:  https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/939014159726870530 (Note that I don't like this reporter. In this case, though, he's got the source info.)

Now, here's the pig in question.  Looks like some hyped up CoD player trying to be a badass:

The press, btw, chose to edit the photos not to show the tattoos.

"The judge did not allow jurors to hear about an etching on the dust cover of the rifle Brailsford used to shoot Shaver, which said  "You're f--ked," because he felt it was prejudicial."

It should be prejudicial. If you or I had that dustcover on a rifle, it would be considered provocative.  And note, he modified his issued duty weapon with this. That takes tools, it's not just a drop in, and is against department policy. Only the armorer gets to modify weapons. EDIT: apparently his personal weapon, which is supposed to meet specific department standards. Since they cited the dust cover as part of the reason for his firing, clearly that wasn't within standards.

This is a dickless little pussy, trying to look like a badass, with a hardon for shooting someone.

Now, watch the video above.  What should have happened:

Suspect lies down.  Officer gets good clear field of fire. Second officer approaches and cuffs suspect, then searches him. This takes seconds.

What did happen was five minutes of "Officer says stand up, officer says get down. Officer says raise hands. Officer says lower hands.  Now crawl.  I didn't say 'officer says.' BANGBANGBANGBANG!"

Interspersed with threats to shoot him if he doesn't perform some odd contortions that a trained gymnast can't do.

The department found his behavior, and the modified weapon, against policy to be grounds to fire him.  Clearly, they did not think it was a good shoot.

Now, pay attention to the shot. Well, actually, it's a burst, which is criminally negligent under the circumstances, since there are lots of walls and lots of potential collateral casualties behind thin walls.

After the shot, does the pig say, "Fuck," or "Goddam," or even "Now I have do paperwork"?

No, he's placid.  Like shooting someone is just second nature, like walking past them on the sidewalk. He's completely unfazed. It's like he was shooting targets at the range, waiting for the next popup.

The body cam doesn't show his massive erection.  "Massive" relative, because you know it's possibly 2" long.

The suspect in question had no weapon. Someone had reported seeing a firearm through the hotel window, which is, (gasp!) legal in Arizona. In fact, it's legal to carry a gun openly in AZ with no license.  So they shot this law abiding citizen for not doing anything illegal. (It was a pellet pistol he used for pest control, professionally.)

I won't comment on the other cop who's too stupid to know which way a key card goes in a hotel. As someone else noted, apparently his hookers come to the house.

Now, per existing law, "I'm an incompetent, retarded, trigger-happy shithead who created a bad scenario and twitched, despite overwhelming firepower" is actually a legally valid defense for a pig. Don't try it yourself. You'll get life. (Unless you're an illegal alien in San Francisco, but I digress).

But it doesn't change the fact that this tatted up, sociopathic pig went into this event just begging to shoot someone and got his wish. He can have his mouthpiece claim otherwise all he wants.  The evidence is there.

Which is why I will cheer if someone hunts the fucker down and assfucks him with a shotgun.

In the meantime, the victim's family is going to sue, and own Mesa's budget for the year, and the taxpayers will pay for the bad judgment.

And his murder victim is still dead.

At least the department fired him. I credit them with decency for recognizing the fuckup. And note again, they obviously thought it was a problem.

Then, how often do prosecutors bring charges against their cop partners? Not very often. They obviously thought it was a problem.

Yes, there's a loophole that allows a cop to murder people and say "My bad!" and walk away. That does not make it a "good" shoot. There was zero reason to have a fucking dance with the suspect.  The longer that dance goes on, the more likely it is someone will die. 

Which is what this little pussy (and possibly his partner) was just BEGGING for.

Per other articles, he's not sure he wants to play cop anymore. I'd suggest he find a job more suited to his personality, like kitten snuff for a Bulgarian porn site.

If you're a copsucker and this post offends you, go on Grindr and find some cop cock to suck. There's plenty.

 

 

Details

Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 10 November 2017

I called out this strange individual a few days back.

And this is the response he emailed:

James LaPorta

Oct 5

 

to me

 

Hey son,

Long time, no chat. Appreciate the advice, but the bullshit meter is full, so unfortunately, I canΓÇÖt take anymore advice right now. Anytime you want to compare writing careers, IΓÇÖm available.

Stay out of trouble, kid. And keep those fingers flying across that keyboard of yours, you little rascal, you.

Sincerely,

James LaPorta

--

James M. LaPorta

Journalist | Documentary Producer | Former U.S. Marine

Bylines at: The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Daily Beast

(C) 202-650-0089

Twitter: @JimLaPorta

Website: www.jameslaporta.net

For Encryption: SIGNAL and TELEGRAM

Fingerprint: 1EE4 2581 B0D6 1C8E C131 A635 4EC2 B5D2 7728 669F

Confidential: This communication contains confidential and/or privileged information and is intended only for the person or entity named. Anyone other than the intended recipient, or the named recipient's employee or agent responsible for delivering this communication to the named recipient, is prohibited from reading, copying, distributing, disseminating, or otherwise using the information contained in this communication.

 

Compare careers? Well, I want to say upfront that popularity doesn't directly equate to accomplishment. But okay.

My first novel was Freehold.

The Weapon

Better to Beg Forgiveness...

Contact with Chaos while deployed to the Sandbox in 2008, when not on long hours of duty. It kept me sane.

Do Unto Others... still sells reliably in all editions, like all my SF--Hardcover, paperback, Audible, Baen eBook, Kindle, Nook.

Rogue continue the story arc of The Weapon. Once again I got fanmail from professionals--both special operators, and investigators.

When Diplomacy Fails... is the third segment of the Ripple Creek universe. Just look for the ellipsis.

Tour of Duty compiled my existing short stories, essays and some snark, that were originally written for writers like Joe Haldeman and Mercedes Lackey. James has probably never heard of them, either. That says more about him than them.

Wisdom from my Internet was a joke, as was the publication by "Patriarchy Press" which is owned by my girlfriend--a minority female. With advanced degrees. And her own side career of writing. And a major job with a real security clearance for an aerospace contractor. It was a #1 Amazon bestseller in political humor. It got nominated for an award, and I'm relieved it didn't win. It earned money, though.

A Long Time Until Now sold out its hardcover print run so fast I barely got any. Good luck finding any.

Now, the NYT bestseller list is hard to crack, and I will freely admit I haven't managed that yet. One thing to keep in mind is for that list, it's only certain stores that count, within the week, in certain genres--they don't acknowledge Romance or Western, for example, because Romance would own the list.

Bookscan, though, monitors distribution sales and categorizes by genre. ALTUN was a National Bestseller in SF, per Bookscan. It also got a legitimate screen query from someone who does things with Universal Pictures. Let's not hold our breath--it took 30 years for Ender's Game to reach the screen. But I have the query and it's floating about.

Tick of the Clock did better than I expected for a self pub, and Travis deserves credit for being patient with me while I was somewhat sick.

Angeleyes also was a National Bestseller, and nominated for a Prometheus. Once again it was a tough, worthy field and I didn't win. That's infinitely more nominations than James, though.

I was a single parent while writing this, btw.

Forged in Blood is also a National Bestseller. It's selling and reviewing tremendously well.  (EDIT: And won the P&E Readers' Poll for Best Anthology, and Kacey's story was the Year's Best winner.)

That's it to date.

Well, this is pending: Tide of Battle

Which includes work I did for Kevin J. Anderson and Janet Morris. Heard of them? James hasn't, I'm sure.

And I just finished two more short pieces, one of which may become a TV project, because the person running the project actually does have TV credits. The other short may become a book, because the editor liked it that much. Note that "May" is not "Will." It's a flexible industry.

I have a collaboration on spec mostly finished.

I have contracts on another Ripple Creek and two more time travel novels, one of which is being written now.

I have another short on contract, one on spec, another collab novel on spec with a verbal go-ahead from the publisher, meaning we'll ink a contract when done or I finish some others, and another collab in the planning stages. I have about 40% of the content I need for another collection. I'm trying to organize another anthology and waiting for the publisher to look at numbers.

I'm still the stay at home parent for a three year old while doing this.

My full bibliography is here.

I have cover quotes from, among others, Locus, Analog and Publisher's Weekly.

James...doesn't.

According to associates overseas and in the US Navy, you can find my books in:

The American Book Center in the Hague and Amsterdam, and in fact, I've done book signings there.

Most military Exchanges. (I've signed at several of those, too. Ft Knox, Ft Meade, several Army and Air bases in the Middle East and Europe.)

Hong Kong.

Singapore.

The southernmost English speaking library, in New Zealand.

Oh, yes -- my publisher pays for my book signing trips and gives away free books to the troops. Because when you are a professional, your publisher has a budget to promote you.

It's not a hugely household name career like Terry Brooks or Terry Pratchet, but it does keep me in upper class lifestyle. I'm not rich, but I'm certainly comfortable.

Where can you find James' books? Trick question. He doesn't have any books.

So, let's look at James' other writing career:

• Medium --vanity, doesn't pay.
• Daily Beast -- as far as I know, doesn't pay.
• WaPoo -- Now, according to professionals in the newspaper industry, op-eds that aren't penned by the hired staff don't get paid. They just offer exposure. You know, that thing you die from in winter.

Blogs and clickbait sites don't pay anyone. They can't afford to. Hell, they can't even afford facts.

Sample article: "Can Shia LeBeouf Convey The Trauma Of Combat?"

Come on, Chia the Poof can't even run a "performance art" camera of him bleating about the president.

PROTIP 1: If you're not getting paid for it, you're not a professional.

He's written a half dozen things while stringing for UPI, and man, James couldn't wait to fuck those dead bodies in Vegas to blather out his complete erroneous bullshit about how "Rifling is also the bullet weight in grains" and "a free floated barrel isn't connected to the rifle" (allegedly told to him by someone in Special Forces, even though Wikipedia or any of a thousand online fora could have explained it in small words. But I digress). The problem is, while UPI does pay a little, it doesn't pay enough to interest any professional writer. In fact, I probably got paid more for my last short story than he got paid for all of it. UTI, excuse me, UPI is for people who hope to eventually rise to the level of working for some local paper. Of course, having your alma mater Marine Corps ban you from one of their bases for interfering with a case in progress won't help your odds of getting hired.

Oh, and he's "Assistant Editor" of something called "Blue Force Tracker" which is referenced twice on Newsmax, which is almost as credible as the Weekly World News. Now, BFT is a GPS based system for watching for friendly forces. You can find a lot of that. Searching for it as a magazine, journal, paper, blog...it doesn't exist as far as I can tell. It's complete bullshit.

James says he's "Never heard of me." Likewise. Which is why I used Google before opening my trap.

He's not Walter Winchell. He's not even Clifford Simak. (I know James has never heard of him.)

I have a few articles. My unpaid stuff was for several Second Amendment sites, because I was promoting a valid cause WITH FACTS. Readership was only a couple of million people. My paid stuff has been in firearm mags, too, at up to $1/word. Including some in other countries.

Also, I prefer to use references in my articles, not vague references to someone who is claimed to have been in Special Forces.

And I'm Editor at Large for Survivalblog.com which is easy to find, has a huge following, and will acknowledge me, though to be honest, I haven't done much recently due to other commitments. But it does actually exist.

PROTIP 2: No professional is ever actually insulted by, "I've never heard of you." For example: That country music star at the shooting in Vegas? Never heard of him. I don't listen to country music. But I'm sure a few seconds on Google will find he is of note and has lots of fans and customers.

Moving on, then.

James claims to be a film producer. Well, I'm not. But I have appeared in productions, and consulted to others. For friends doing film festival stuff locally, I'm cheap or free. For some of these with national media, I billed $1000/day and got it.

So, let's check IMDB for James:

Nothing here, either.

PROTIP 3: Cell phone video does not count as professional film to anyone in the industry unless it's incorporated into something else and you're paid for it.

James knows even less about producing films than he does about firearms.

Let's check Wikipedia:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Z._Williamson

Here I am, though the page is out of date. I'm sure it'll get fixed eventually. I make no attempt to edit it.

James:

Not notable by their standards either, apparently.

Wow. That's 0 for 4 so far.

He does have 8 Patreon followers though.

Now, to be fair, I joined Patreon way back, and realized it didn't do anything I needed it to do since I don't produce daily content. I've never looked at it since, and have neither delivered anything nor been paid. So possibly he's the same.

I doubt it, though, since he makes a point of linking to it.

But to give the benefit of the doubt, we'll call this one a draw.

What about our former military careers?

My military career was pretty much unremarkable and I freely admit so. I enlisted in 1985, retired in 2010, had about 5 years and a bit active duty including deployment time, the rest being split between Army and Air National Guard. I helped with the Mississippi Flood in 1993 for about six weeks, have a few decorations for doing small things, and some unit decorations for maintaining an amazing level of mission accomplishment during blasting sand in the Sandbox. The unit gets credit. I was part of the unit.

Oh, I DID have 25 years of Expert ratings, competed in rifle match for the Army Guard and won trophies. And even though it wasn't my specialty, I served as an armorer, was a range safety NCO, ammo point NCO, helped my unit upgrade M16s to A2 standard, was a weapons courier.

And then in the civilian world I conduct tests and evaluations of weapons sent to me by manufacturers, such as this one.

And make my own from raw materials, such as this one:

I asked some actual Secret Squirrels about this--one veteran who works for a Cabinet department on terrorist activities, one field grade intel unit commander, and one actual analyst. They concurred with what I suspected.

So in actuality, he was basically a secretary who "Managed" probably 2-3 troops including himself, to bug the squad leaders to make sure their SALUTE reports (Google it) were turned in, placed into some semblance of order, handed to a compiler who gridded them for an analyst who reviewed them and sent the data to a supervisor who submitted that on a mass report to actual Secret Squirrels who then furnished the polished outcome to Command to aid in issuing orders.

Now, this is certainly important work. So is being a secretary. But it bears the same resemblance to being a "Secret Squirrel" that being a secretary bears to being a Department Manager.

It's vaguely possible he was in one of the few of these elements that actually did real intel work, but most of them were in elite units. And since James is unable to use Google to even get basic facts about the rifle he was issued correct, it seems highly unlikely he was any better in a strange country. Hell, he can barely parse English, much less Pashto.

Oh, and it turns out one of my readers was in his unit:
~~~
Coop LoPresto: Yeah, he was an intelfag that sucked at being an intelfag. Got passed over/soft-fired out of leading a CLIC during a cycle at CAX (Desert Warfare Training. Basically a final exam before your infantry BN's able to deploy to the sandbox) and before that he did retarded shit like bringing his own EoTech to ranges and field ops and shit. He was a "marksmanship instructor," as he was wont to point out, but in reality he was just a range coach because his shop didn't want him around to do any real S2 work. And was just generally disliked for both his level of competency and personality. Which is probably why he went on to break the Marines United story. I didn't interact with him enough to remember who the fuck he was until all my boys who did know who he was began to regale me with his "exploits" when I started commenting on his dumbassery.

EDIT: In email, he confirms the EoTech incident is true.  Oh, son! You just qualified a source as credible and reliable. And you worked in intel?  On whose side?

~~~

PROTIP 4: "Secret Squirrel" is a joke in the intel community, because those who actually are don't talk about it. They say their job is "Boring" or they "process data" or "shuffle papers" or are "value-added paper pushers." Because actual secret squirrels have actual intel that could be of interest to foreign agencies and major corporations, and don't crave attention.

So basically, he's not a relevant writer, knows so little about weapons it's frightening the Marines let him be a grunt, but that's likely why he was "promoted" to a paperwork cell where he couldn't do any damage, and why he left a career about halfway to retirement, and doesn't seem to have any job of note. And we can deduce the probable actual reason he joined the Corps was the thrill of showering naked with twenty o/t/h/e/r/ men. (Not that I object to him showering with other men. But there are bathhouses for that. The Marines have a mission to do.)

Oh, we could also compare ASVAB scores if he wishes. Mine are simple: I maxed every category in the 99th %ile. I can scan a RIP to prove it.

I suspect James didn't. $50 on that.

Oddly, I can't find any reference to the USMC, or any other branch of the military, taking any interest at all in bumpfire stocks that somehow make weapons more powerful (By magically increasing bullet energy?), or change the rifling rate (Which is "also the bullet weight in grains"?) or improve accuracy (By disconnecting the barrel from the rifle?).

I wonder if, now that the military is aware of this awesome device, they'll upgrade all their existing inventory to be more powerful, accurate and deadly.<?p>

I have $1000 says no. Put up or shut up.

Oh, right, James. You haven't earned enough from writing to afford that. Okay. Let's make it $20.

PROTIP 5: Before challenging someone to compare careers, check Google, and be sure you have a career, not just a lame joke with no punchline.

But YOU keep pounding the keys, you little rascal, you! Work on your spelling, grammar, punctuation, structure, coherence, and of course, read some books to get some facts, and maybe someday you'll have TWENTY Patreon followers, and can earn enough per month to pay for a dinner at Denny's rather than KFC.

And if I've actually missed anything, I stand ready to be corrected. You threw down the gauntlet, I've picked it up. First shot is yours, big boy. And you know what they say about silence. (Actually, apparently you don't.) [UPDATE: see below, he proved this adage too.]

Toodles, you giant soup sandwich.

NOTE: Anyone is welcome to cite, link or copy the entirety of these contents to refute the worthless little shwit.

UPDATE: Apparently his idea of a retort is to accuse me of writing "nerd books."

Yes, well I'm about to take my royalty check from writing "nerd books" and have a $200 steak dinner and buy a $13,000 real machine gun (no bumpfire stock), because I have the disposable income to do so.

Ironically, the facts about weapons in my "nerd books" are more accurate than in his "nonfiction" "Articles."

Which is why I get paid that kind of money, and he doesn't get paid to speak of.

 

UPDATE: a few of the fans of those "nerd books" at a small convention just donated $17,000 to charity. https://www.facebook.com/LibertyCon/posts/10155122920663481

Details

Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 08 November 2017

REPORTER: Hey, I need some basic facts. Who's knowledgeable?  You? So tell me about the shoulder thing that goes up.

EXPERT:  I've been a professional in the field for 45 years as a user, designer, manufacturer, expert witness.  So, there actually isn't a shoulder thing that goes up.  I think they were referencing...

REPORTER: Wait, you're some kind of gun nut, aren't you? Fuck off.   You're biased. What about you?

"ACTIVIST": I'm President of the Association For Banning Bumpfire Shoulder Things, a 501(c)4 agency.  AR15s were invented by Ronald Reagan in 1981, and are issued to all felons as they leave prison because of a loophole allowed to exist by the GW Bush administration.

REPORTER: Good stuff! Keep going.