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http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-02-04/the-disgusting-consequences-of-liberal-plastic-bag-bans.html

At one time, we used brown paper bags for groceries.  We then drew on the brown paper, wrapped our school books in them, made masks of them, used them to wrap packages, to carry goodies and snacks, and occasionally burned them for fuel, or sent them to the landfill to produce valuable methane.

Then some "ecologically minded persons" came along and said paper bags were bad for the poor trees, which were grown specifically for the purpose of making bags.  This is like claiming steak is bad for the domestic cattle population.  Or that apple juice is bad for the apples.

So we switched to plastic.  

Now, occasionally a paper bag would tear.  But you could stack two dozen cans in them and they'd fit the shape for easy support while carrying.  Plastic bags are the wrong shape, too small, have to be carried in bundles each holding a couple of items.  And, they're not biodegradable, are harmful to animals, and none of the local resources will recycle the damned things.  Then we have the article above.

This is one of the thousands of reasons why whenever someone opens their mouth about the environment, if they are not an engineer, a scientist, or someone holding a sheet of figures, you smile, nod and ignore them.

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"No one wants to take your guns away."

"They just said they want to take away guns."

"Well, yes, but only certain, supermodern, ultrapowerful guns."

"This gun is half the power of a hunting rifle."

"Yes, that makes it more dangerous, because of less kickback. And stuff."

"It was designed in the 1950s."

"Well, technically, yes.  But it got a new plastic thingy last year.  So it's ultramodern."

"The plastic thingy is an adjustable stock for different clothing or shooter statures.  It's been around since the 1960s."

"Right.  But we just found out about it."

"And they want to ban this gun."

"It looks scary."

"So if it didn't look scary, it would be okay?  Like this pink gun?"

"Yes.  Well, no.  Now it looks like a toy."

"So it can't look scary, and it can’t look non-scary?"

"Right."

"So which guns would that leave?"

"Well, the other non-scary, non-non-scary guns."

"But all guns scare you."

"Yes, but I have a right to feel safe, after all."

"Really?  What about my right to feel safe?"

"Well, you're paranoid, so you don't count."

"So you ARE taking away guns."

"Well no."

"You just said you were."

"I said I was not."

"But you just took my gun!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did.  I don't have it anymore. You have it."

"Oh, this. Right. Well, it's not a non-scary gun, nor a non-non-scary gun, nor a hunting gun—"

"I hunt with that."

"No you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Well, we think you should hunt with something else."

"Look, the Founders weren't concerned about deer uprisings, they were concerned about despots and people taking their guns."

"No they weren't."

"Yes they were. That's what they specifically said you can't take our guns."

"No they didn't."

"What?"

"They said you couldn't take THEIR guns.  YOUR guns are entirely different."

"How?"

"Because they're…new.  And scary."

"So give it back."

"No.  I don't feel like it."

"But you said you weren't going to take our guns."

"Oh, that.  Right. Well…oh, good, here comes an inaccurate cartoon making fun of you.  We win."

"The bloody hell you do."  BANG

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Denial:  THERE IS NO RIGHT TO OWN A GUN!  That's not what the Second Amendment means!

Actually, there is.  That is what the Second Amendment means, and the Supreme Court has said so repeatedly for well over a century, until they broke it down into words even you can understand: 

 http://www.scotusblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/07-290.pdf

"Some have made the argument, bordering on the frivolous, that only those arms in existence in the 18th century are protected by the Second Amendment. We do not interpret constitutional rights that way. Just as the First Amendment protects modern forms of communications, e.g., Reno v. American Civil Liberties Union, 521 U. S. 844, 849 (1997), and the Fourth Amendment applies to modern forms of search, e.g., Kyllo v. United States, 533 U. S. 27, 35–36 (2001), the Second Amendment extends, prima facie, to all instruments that constitute bearable arms, even those that were not in existence at the time of the founding."."

There.  Moving on:

Anger:  You all support child murderers, hate America, are retarded poopyheads, living in a delusional world…

Boy, that was…special.  I understand you're upset.  However, name calling is not productive, and hate is not a liberal value.  It's also generally understood to be a bad thing to stereotype an entire group by the actions of a mere handful.

Moving on:

Bargaining:  What about some reasonable compromise?  If you disagree with us, you're unreasonable!

That's not how it works.  A reasonable compromise requires that you know the subject in question, not just bleat about being scared, and that you offer something in return. What are you offering in return?

Oh, I just remembered:  Constitutional right.  I don't have to bargain.

Moving on:

Depression:  I hate America.  All you gun nuts should go to some other country like Somalia.

Really? I'm an immigrant and I LOVE America.  But if you're not happy with it, perhaps you should do the moving.  Why am I obligated to make changes for your benefit?  I moved to the country I like.  You can do the same.

Moving on:

Acceptance: 

Yeah, will you please hurry up and get there so we can do something productive?  We've spent a lot of time helping you with this process, and fighting it is only making you unhappy, and frustrating us.  Please?

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The following is a list, provided by the White House, of executive actions President Obama plans to take to address gun violence.

1. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal agencies to make relevant data available to the federal background check system. 

 

Meaning "nothing."  This is supposed to already exist.  The mass of the bureaucracy makes it awkward, and adding more bureaucracy is not the answer.

 

2. Address unnecessary legal barriers, particularly relating to the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, that may prevent states from making information available to the background check system. 

 

So, abolish HIPAA?  Because that's exactly what it does in this case.

 

3. Improve incentives for states to share information with the background check system. 

 

More nothing.

 

4. Direct the Attorney General to review categories of individuals prohibited from having a gun to make sure dangerous people are not slipping through the cracks. 

 

In other words, tell him to do his job?  And would this include NOT selling guns to Mexican drug lords?

 

5. Propose rulemaking to give law enforcement the ability to run a full background check on an individual before returning a seized gun. 

 

This is already the case.

 

6. Publish a letter from ATF to federally licensed gun dealers providing guidance on how to run background checks for private sellers. 

 

I've never met an FFL who didn't know how to do that.  It's already in the "guidance."  You can even call ATF and they'll talk you through it.

 

7. Launch a national safe and responsible gun ownership campaign. 

 

Ads about gun safety from idiots who don't know a fucking thing about guns.  Great.

 

8. Review safety standards for gun locks and gun safes (Consumer Product Safety Commission). 

 

Because criminals are very concerned about keeping their weapons secure.

 

9. Issue a Presidential Memorandum to require federal law enforcement to trace guns recovered in criminal investigations. 

 

You want to do what the NRA, GOA, CCRKBA and most conservatives have been asking the Feds to do for 30 years?  And people say you can't teach a pig to sing.  Will this actually happen, though?

 

10. Release a DOJ report analyzing information on lost and stolen guns and make it widely available to law enforcement. 

 

This might help, if it's actually a searchable database...and if local LEO actually use it...something the President has no control over.

 

11. Nominate an ATF director. 

 

Oh, right.  You haven't had one for several years. [Popeye voice]  How embarassking! /Popeye voice

 

12. Provide law enforcement, first responders, and school officials with proper training for active shooter situations. 

 

"You:  Curl up in a ball in the corner and kiss your ass goodbye.  You:  set up a command post and have press releases ready about how bad guns are."

 

13. Maximize enforcement efforts to prevent gun violence and prosecute gun crime. 

 

Will this involve a paradigm or actualization and implementation of core competencies?  Because it sounds like corporate board room bullshit.

 

14. Issue a Presidential Memorandum directing the Centers for Disease Control to research the causes and prevention of gun violence. 

 

What about knife violence?  Domestic violence?  Drunken violence?  Maybe the cause is People?  Nah, that's too hard and would require real thinking.

 

15. Direct the Attorney General to issue a report on the availability and most effective use of new gun safety technologies and challenge the private sector to develop innovative technologies. 

 

"Hey, head lawyer:  What do you know about mechanical engineering?  No?  DAMN!"  But let's look at that:  We should spend billions, most of our profits, to develop something that won't work, is easily disabled, that police and military will be exempt from using, and might get me sued if it fails and someone dies, or fails and lets a criminal shoot?  How about, "Go fuck yourself." Does that work for you?

 

16. Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes. 

 

So what?  What exactly does asking someone about guns in their homes do?  And as I read the 1st and 5th Amendments, I can tell the doctor to go fuck himself, or say nothing at all.

 

17. Release a letter to health care providers clarifying that no federal law prohibits them from reporting threats of violence to law enforcement authorities. 

 

Wow!  There are doctors who don't know that?

 

18. Provide incentives for schools to hire school resource officers. 

 

So...exactly what the NRA proposed...hidden down around the end.  Sneaky, sneaky. I see what you did there.

 

19. Develop model emergency response plans for schools, houses of worship and institutions of higher education. 

 

Assuming they all have the same floorplan, environment, local demographics and threats, that's brilliant.  Wait, what?

 

20. Release a letter to state health officials clarifying the scope of mental health services that Medicaid plans must cover. 

 

I won't comment on this because it might actually be useful, but I have no idea what he actually said. 

 

21. Finalize regulations clarifying essential health benefits and parity requirements within ACA exchanges. 

 

Ditto

 

22. Commit to finalizing mental health parity regulations. 

 

I'm withholding comment until I'm sure that doesn't mean "Waste more money, create a bunch of buzzwords not in DSM IV and outrage the mental health community."

 

23. Launch a national dialogue led by Secretaries Sebelius and Duncan on mental health.

"Mental health is a good thing.  We should definitely get some for Washington."

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