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My ancestors knew this game. They were experts at it.

 

Rudyard Kipling

/></div><center><h1 id=Dane-GeldA.D. 980-1016
It is always a temptation to an armed and agile nation  To call upon a neighbour and to say: --"We invaded you last night--we are quite prepared to fight,  Unless you pay us cash to go away."And that is called asking for Dane-geld,  And the people who ask it explainThat you've only to pay 'em the Dane-geld  And then  you'll get rid of the Dane!It is always a temptation for a rich and lazy nation,  To puff and look important and to say: --"Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.  We will therefore pay you cash to go away."And that is called paying the Dane-geld;  But we've  proved it again and  again,That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld  You never get rid of the Dane.It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,  For fear they should succumb and go astray;So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,  You will find it better policy to say: --"We never pay any-one Dane-geld,  No matter how trifling the cost;For the end of that game is oppression and shame,  And the nation that pays it is lost!"

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As you gather from the title, this wasn't what I'd hoped.

First, we got punished for reserving for the midnight showing.  After that got booked nationwide, someone in production or distribution decided to open up earlier slots in the evening for all the people who didn't respond in time. So the latecomers managed to book earlier shows.

I'd hoped to see it on the Imax screen, but that was reserved for people doing the three movie marathon, and that was 8 hours I didn't want to sit in the theater.

So there were about a dozen of us in a standard theater. And the guy behind me kept practicing a tap dancing routine (literally) every two or three minutes (literally).  When I finally couldn't take it anymore and asked him to stop, he did.

On to the movie.

The problem with this section of the story is there's not a lot of character to discover, other than Thorin's fall, which was done well enough.  We have good character background on the others, and there's not much more to develop.

We did get to see the reveal of Sauron and the foreshadowing of the threat to come, and Saruman showed some depth, because Christopher %#$@ing Lee is awesome.

Laketown is too far from the mountain here, so rather than the refugees using the perfectly serviceable forest with game, timber, fresh water and nearby fish, they move up into the abandoned town across from the mountain, miles from anywhere, and are short of rations. Duh.

The battle was a huge mess, with some good scenes including the shield ramping, but otherwise was hack and slash from different POVs for an hour.  We've seen this before. The dwarves smashed, the elves shot and slashed, the men did what they could.

The cherry atop the turd was the resolution of the love arc between Fili and Tauriel.  Everyone saw it coming, and Jackson had a chance to NOT be cliche, and sold out.  Everyone was rolling their eyes and groaning, though some of that might have been the scenery protesting at being chewed.

It's one weak movie of six, but since it's the conclusion of this arc, it diminishes the entirety of The Hobbit.  They could have got as much material into two slightly longer movies, or they could have used this one to delve into more backstory, more detail on different fighting styles or overall strategy.

You're going to see it just to resolve the trilogy, but don't expect to be blown away.  It's once again "We need MOAR! special effects and mayhem or people won't watch!" sellout and cliche. 

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A certain SF writer I blocked a long time ago, expressed the opinion, "If you're white, you're not entitled to an opinion about Ferguson."

Well, that's nice.

Dear Fascist, The First Amendment of the US Constitution guarantees my right and entitlement to an opinion on anything I want.

Dear Hypocrite, for someone who claims to support free speech and is in the business of it, this is about the 10th time I've heard you espouse limiting those rights based on your politics.

Dear white guy, you're whiter than cream cheese, so shouldn't you take your own advice, there in your 98% white upper middle class liberal neighborhood in California?

Dear racist, my skin color is not relevant to my right to talk.

Please go fuck yourself with a waffle iron.

~~

As to other ignorant comments I hear all over:

"Why wasn't there a trial?"
There was. The Grand Jury is the first step in a trial.  You should have learned this in 7th grade. If not, perhaps you should refrain from commenting.

"He only got shot because he's black."

No, he got shot because he was a murderous piece of shit thug, and white guys get shot for the same thing all the time. Google will find you thousands of them.

I have personally watched, in the black neighborhood I lived in, a shoplifter spill merchandise from his coat, then tell the officer who grabbed him, "You're just arrestin' me cuz I'm black." The arresting officer...was black.

Same officer asked a woman not to park in a handicapped space since she clearly wasn't and had no tag.  "You're just hasslin' me cuz I'm black."  It seems to be a default bleat with some people.

"Black people get shot more." Yes, but usually by other black people.  As far as by cops, no, not really.

If you want questionable cases, Tamir Rice's murder is a good one to focus on.  

There are two types of people in the Ferguson debate. Racists, and people who understand Brown was a thug attempting murder.

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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00QZV08SW?ie=UTF8&tag=wwwmichaelzwi-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00QZV08SW

Flogging my collection of snark, satire, random internet bombs, hurled epithets and commentary.  These are my deliberate misinterpretations, vitriolic comments, puns, anecdotes and thoughts on everything, collected from several years of online posting and content.  Just in time for Christmas for that person you hate.

Eventually, I'll have download direct from the website, and possibly paper copies.

Enjoy. Or not. Doesn't matter.  Just give me money. That's what matters.

And remember:  Hugo Chavez is not a line of clothing. I stand corrected.

  1. To the Law Students of Columbia, Harvard and Georgetown
  2. Hoplophobes Are Cute When They're Angry

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