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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 06 December 2015

First world problem:  Too much food. Both deep freezes and the fridge/freezer are stuffed, and 90% of it is meat, as it should be.

Complication:  Great deals on meat locally.

Scene: Local yuppie "organic" store, with wild caught sockeye salmon for $6.99/lb.

I say, "We'll take ten pounds."

Meat cutter says, "Ten pounds of salmon?" He stares at me as if I couldn't possibly have said that.

"Yes.  And then some bacon."

The sign specified it was "pork bacon," which is redundant, since only pork can be bacon.

He asks, "Do you just want a 15 lb box of that, then?"

"Sure, that will work."

He seems game, and tags our salmon and hands over a box of bacon.

Back at the house, there's not enough room. So, TIME TO COOK!

We now have 6 quarts of Morrocan chicken tajine, 8 quarts of tomato beef soup, 3 meatloafs, two beef and squash lasagna (since the other person can't eat grains), two more meatloafs, a whole smoked salmon and some bacon.

You know what separates us from the animals? The ability to damage entire ecosystems for dinner.

That's why we're awesome.

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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 29 November 2015

http://thenewdaily.com.au/news/2015/11/10/australias-secret-gun-problem-exposed/?fb_action_ids=1672808076337360&fb_action_types=og.likes

It turns out Australia has had ongoing, increasing violence since they banned most non-sporting arms.  Aha! THE FAULT IS THE BULLETS'!

And in comments:

Garavella Yk Bah, humbug ΓÇó 18 days ago
if you read that article, more than half are not shootings: explosives, arson, unnamed slayings, gangland wars and so on
3 • Reply•Share ›

~~~~

Oh, well that makes them perfectly okay, then. As long as no one was shot.

DID YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKING SAY THAT? Explosives and arson aren't as bad as shootings, and certainly no one cares about unnnamed slayings (Whatever those are), and of course, gangland slayings, as long as they don't involve guns are perfectly fine!  That's how we're BETTER than the US!

What these people need is therapy, where they are put in a room with 57 loaded guns placed on every available surface, so they can get over their animistic fear of objects.  Or else play with the guns and wind up dead. Either way, human intelligence wins.

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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 26 November 2015

Oh, those poor Syrian refugees, whom we must all take pity on and welcome into someone else's community.

Last week, a 15 year old boy died during an Ebola resurgence. Name him.

In the last decade, a million Rwandans and Angolans were butchered or killed with machetes. Do you know why? Name three.

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Written by Michael Z Williamson

Created: 03 November 2015

 TRIGGER WARNING: this post contains references to liberal intolerance, hypocritical butthurt and complete faggotry. Sensitive readers are warned.

 

For those of you who don't watch my Facebook wall (Probably a good thing), it's a war zone.  In the last week there've been defenses of the A10, attacks on the A10, jokes about the A10, a Christ On The Cross dress up doll, jokes about Muslim suicide bombers, about feminists, about conservatives, about anarchists, vegetarians, cops and starving children.

Now, humor is both a coping mechanism and a means of maintaining attention on an issue.  This is why Mel Brooks, for example, puts Hitler jokes into almost every movie.  Joking about issues can reduce their emotional impact, help us cope, while keeping us aware of the issue.

This is something most people know instinctively. Some have to be taught.

But a handful of people, who can be of any political or cultural affiliation, completely lose their shit.

Thus it was with this picture: 

 

This picture offended one Jim Long, who friended me about two days ago. 

Just so we're clear which Jim Long it is, here's his FB ID: https://www.facebook.com/jimffl83

Jim came into the thread and posted this:

 ~~~

Now, assuming Jim actually served on Sep 11, (he's a bit pudgy for the firefighters I know, but I don't know the NYFD guidelines) he has my respect FOR THAT ACTION.  I am not required to do so, but I do so, voluntarily. Doing so does not create an obligation on my part to respect any other action he may take in his life.

My response was, "Okay, bye."  Then others of us had a subthread discussion about how all the other humor above was fine, but this particular joke itched his anus.  I suppose I could not post anything that offended anyone, but that would be everything.

I could talk at this point at what Sep 11 meant to me, but the offended pussy will never get it, so we'll just note that I was serving military at the time, activated and deployed later in response, and had friends and family in close proximity to both the NY and Pentagon attacks, and move on.

 Now, here's how a man would have handled this offendedness:

Had he actually wanted to talk about his feelings, he could have attempted, in public or message, to have a discussion about it. We all could have learned something more about the event or our society from this. It would have been productive. Jim did not do this, because Jim is a moral coward.

He could have just ignored the post and moved on to something equally offensive but not relevant to him personally. Hypocritical, but people can be. Jim is more than hypocritical and a moral coward.

He could have just unfriended or blocked me and moved on with his life. But in addition to being a moral coward, Jim insists everyone else live by his rules.

So, Jim chose the Past Full Retard All The Way To Turnip Limpwristed Faggot and Triggered Liberal Outrage response of publicly telling me what a horrible person I am (wrong) and that he knows exactly what kind of person I am (Wrong, and I'm a complex person, as we all are).

Now, I cannot prove that two minutes later he reported his butthurt and full diaper to Facebook mods, but shortly after that, I was banned from posting for 30 days, and the post was removed.

So let's look at it again:  THIS WAS ON MY WALL.  The man asked for my contact, came into my internet living room, publicly complained about the party, then left and called the cops.

Now, I get complaints from time to time, and complaints like this invariably come from some liberal pussy (as opposed to liberals who are not pussies, whom I enjoy talking to and learn from) who wants the world to be as they envision it, and no dissent is allowed. (This isn't actually liberal.  It's passive-aggressive fascist.)(I'm also friends with real fascists to counter the real communists I'm friends with. I wouldn't want to live in their utopiae, nor they in mine, but we can learn from each other.  But I digress.)

So I contacted him in private. I told him he was a pussy, as face to face as I was able to get.

~~
He responded: Wrong on both accounts. Loser.

I guess your feeling a little guilty you need to private message me bullshit.

~~ 

Guilty? No, retard, it was the only way I had of contacting you, after you shit your panties and whined to the overworked drones at Fecesbook that YOU WERE OFFENDED!!!

Nobody gives a shit if you're offended, pussy.  Grow the fuck up.  I get offended, usually by the existence of liberal pussies (who can't spell to boot) such as yourself, a dozen times a day.  My response varies. If I think I can have a logical disagreement with someone, I do. Otherwise, the steps above outline how to deal with such things.

And I always love being called a loser.  I have a loving family, have raised kids who impress people, enough disposable income to pursue my hobby of an arms race with Bermuda, and a following and readership that runs up to a half million people who pay money specifically to read my stuff (and others who get it second hand).  I've got medals for helping save lives, and for helping take the war directly to the enemy. Interesting definition of a "loser," but since I don't know what his criteria are, I'm going to chalk it up to more passive aggressive "liberal" bullying intended to make me comply with his wishes.

But, since Jim finds my posting of a joke I find funny in my own forum to be so offensive it must be stopped, I am encouraging everyone with access to post it on my wall as often as possible for the duration of this ban. Or anything else offensive. 

You may choose to be more direct and post it on his wall. I am not requesting you do so, but I note he felt free to dictate how my wall looks.  It would be symmetrical for the same to happen in reverse.

Keep in mind your post will probably be reported by some "tolerant" "liberal," removed, and you may be banned from posting on Facebook for a duration between 12 hours and 30 days--it's entirely at the whim of the overworked drones at Fecesbook, who are forced to deal with butthurt little bitches all day long.

BTW, Jim, are you aware that reports by butthurt pussies take time to process, and have repeatedly caused the monitors to miss reports of actual crimes and suicide, where outside intervention might actually help someone? But hey, you were OFFENDED!  That's what's important here, you narcissistic little pussy.

People like you make me wish Sep 11 actually happened. (That was sarcasm, btw)

UPDATE:  It appears, after someone perused his info, that he may be a poser. Imagine that--stolen valor from NYFD. Rather low, I think: